This line is often spoken and heard in our society. We do not care about ourselves; rather we care more about the people around us. I wonder why this has become a norm that before taking any decision of even our personal life, we think about log kia kahain gey?
When a child is born, especially if it’s a girl and even the parents are happy, but they then begin to think about how people will react to the news of a daughter. Might some people even say sympathetically “oho beti hui hai? chalo Allah baita dey agli dafa”. Now, what is wrong with these people? Maybe the parents wanted a girl or maybe they do not even plan to have that “agli dafa” or they might be just happy with Allah’s will because their daughter is a gift from God. These words can really hurt their feelings. But if a boy is born, even then these “Log” will not be satisfied. A mother who suffered all this pain of birthing a child will now listen to the words like “ Mubarak ho baitay ki laikin baita paalna buhat mushkil hai, betiyaan seedhi hoti hain”. Why don’t these people understand that giving birth to a girl or a boy is not a human’s choice? This is totally the will of God and HE always chooses the best for His people.
And you know what? You do not even know how many kids you should have? and when you should have them? But these “Log” do because they know everything and they are always right.
Similarly, the couple who is trying for a baby since long but have not been successful, they listen to things like “kitnay saal ho gaye shadi ko? Abhi tak bachay nahi huay aap kay?” These people are the real cause of depression for the couple who has been trying for a baby. People do not realize that its none of their business if they have a baby or not. The couple might be living happily even without kids, they may be enjoying their carefree lives. But by saying stuff like that, you are just making their lives sad.
These people do not end here, when the child is a little grown up and you start looking for a school for him, these “log” are going to intervene again. Some might say, “abhi tu chota hai”, whether some will say “itna bara hogaya, abhi tak school nahi jata? Then they will start telling you which school you should choose for your child. If the parents select a private school, they will tell you how bad the environment of private schools is and you will waste your money by getting your child admitted to a private school. And if the parents select a government school, they will tell the parents about the bad reputation of government schools. Why can’t the parents decide by themselves what is right and what is wrong for their children? People can give suggestions but only if they are asked for. In our society, they try to impose their decisions on others.
Once the child reaches the teenage, people will start commenting on their looks. If someone is a little obese, he/she will be called mota, moti and when they see someone thin, they are like “Haaye itni kamzor” or even very cheap words are used without realizing what effect these words can have on a youngster. You may ruin her personality forever by putting her in a complex of being obese, too thin, short heighted or dark. Again this is not your problem how someone looks like.
When it’s time to select a field or career, people yet again try to decide what is best for a youngster without even knowing his/her interests in life. If someone wants to go to the arts side, they will say “Arts bhi koi parhnay ki cheez hai? ab tu tum doctor bhi nahi ban sakti, science parhni chahiye” a youngster who is planning to do MBA from a reputable university, these “log” will say “MBA ki demand nahi hai, patthar uthao MBA nikalta hai aaj kal, computer ki side pe jao”. Can you imagine how that ambitious youngster will feel after that? He might be the one working in a multi-national firm after a few years and one day you will go to him and say “yar meri bhi job kara do” or “yar zara CV bana do maira”.
Then comes the most important part of life, “Marriage”. When looking for a suitable girl or boy, people will start suggesting how beautiful, educated and “Sugghar” the daughter in law should be. Similarly, when you are looking for a boy for your daughter, these people would want to decide what type of family you should look for, what qualities should a boy have? An unmarried girl who has crossed the age of 25, becomes a burden for the whole society she is living in except for her parents of course. People will get worried as if its their problem if she is not getting married. Once the girl and boy are married, now it’s time to go and see the “Jahaiz” (another immoral tradition of our society) of “nayi bahu”. If the jahaiz is too much, it’s a waste of money and chichorapan and if it’s not then “kaisay maa baap hain, apni beti ko kuch diya he nahi”
Again then the first child is born, and this cycle of “Log kia kahain gey” continues. From“khushkhabri kab aarahi hai? till buddhi ghori laal lagaam”, we listen to such mean and rude sentences. I would like to suggest to all those go through such situations in life that these “log” do not have anything better to do in life, except for pointing out mistakes of others, so they will keep on saying such things to you. Just respect your parents and your blood relations who actually care for you, so no one else should matter, but them. And to people who have that habit of interfering and giving rude remarks, please start realizing that others have feelings too and you do not know anything about their personal life or what they are going through, so better not be their judge and give decisions you like.